I was curious to see what would happen if I took the guy up on his offer, albeit with a slight modification.
When I posted this one on Facebook, what shocked me was the way some very good men I know were still either completely unaware of this phenomenon, or, far worse, spoke out in defense of the man in question:“Granted his opening line is a little dull, boring, completely unoriginal and he failed to read your bio to ask deep probing questions like ‘I see you like music.’ You may have been a little rough on him. So tell me, Arianna, what opening line would work to let someone talk?
Some guy you went to high school with contacts you on Facebook.
The archetypal bad boy/jerk/insert-your-expletive here. Ignore the flash in the pan, I say, as if a 12-year-old knows anything about flashes or pans yet.
”Any guy who is 14 years my junior and opens with ‘sexy’ is looking for one thing only.
My profile shows I am looking for men who are at least 40, and that I am not looking for a casual fling. I loved your profile and I would love to know more,’ that is plenty. Junior High wrote:“[You’re] just sort of brow beating strangers who should, but don’t, know any better.
After all, Jack over at LA Fitness said he gets laid that way all the time…I guarantee for every story dudes like “Jack” have told you about getting laid by sending explicit messages to women, there are 1000 women who have received similar unsolicited messages and felt that gut-churning sensation we start to recognize somewhere in our teens as boys and men freely toss out anything from a simple “I’d tap that! As I walked through the halls between classes, some I guy I didn’t know grabbed hold between my legs, asked where my cup was, then swiftly let go and kept moving along his merry way.
I can still feel the shock, disgust and yes, shame, as though it were happening this instant.♦◊♦I glance at the messages I receive on a regular basis and feel the same unpleasant punch grab in the girl bits.“I’d love to pull down your panties and lick you for hours… I know this might seem weird, but I think you are insanely pretty!
Which, if you’ve seen the documentaries, is a scam to bilk lonely men. If no one ever tells the men who send them that what they are doing is wrong, their behavior will never stop. To chastise a woman for having the audacity to respond as I did is an attempt — conscious or not, it doesn’t matter — to shift me into the role of aggressor and the man to that of victim. That thought just makes it all the more “fun.”That isn’t the job of any man, woman or child of the universe. There are plenty of topics I can and do approach from the place of positive love and light, but sometimes the truth just needs to be said, and light needs to be shed in all its unattractive nastiness to wake people up to reality. Aside from the fact that this solution puts the onus back on the person being harassed, OK, I get the importance of self-protection.