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She’s no scandalmonger: The secrets she reveals—about being molested by a family friend at age 11, her all-consuming eating disorder as a young adult, being raped by a music producer, and the egregious sexual harassment she experienced from a “hugely successful international artist” she had been hired to write songs for—are told from her personal perspective, and she’s not naming names.

Nevertheless, when news of the sexual assaults and harassment leaked last week, Dio Guardi found herself in the center of a gossip swarm. “It was positioned in a way that’s totally not about who I am,” Dio Guardi said Friday. I’m anything but a victim.”She wrote about those parts of her life, she said, because they “affected my music” and “affected me as a person to get me to where I am.” But now that the book is about to be unveiled to the world, she finds herself losing control over its contents.

And her ambition is fueled by a nearly Depression Era-level of fear of failure and pennilessness. Even though mine has sort of has followed more of a—” she held her arm up to show a steady ascent—“going toward the sky trajectory.”In one area of her life, though, Dio Guardi is experiencing flux: She has struggled to get pregnant, and in the book writes that she unsuccessfully attempted three rounds of in vitro fertilization during her time on Idol—the show’s fans may recall Dio Guardi’s emotional reaction to Big Mike singing “A Woman’s Work,” which she attributes to fertility treatments.

SASSY Nicole was hired by Cowell to put the sex back into the X Factor after Cheryl left.

In a whispered conversation she laid out her qualifications and ended up getting the job.

She’ll also soon be featured as the lead judge in Bravo’s new songwriting competition show, Platinum Hit, which makes its debut May 30.

She lives with her husband, Mike Mc Cuddy—their courtship is detailed in A Helluva High Note—in a jaw-droppingly nice house in the hills of Studio City that has three-and-a-half acres, a pool, a river rock fireplace, and an apiary for the bees Mc Cuddy has recently begun keeping.

“I wake up and I’m the poster child for molestation,” Dio Guardi said. You know, like, ‘Oh my God, I didn’t even know this.’”The intimate revelations of Dio Guardi’s life are one leitmotif of the book; another, which will also cause a stir, is her account of her two-year-long stint on American Idol.

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