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Kerner agrees that the key ingredient to great sex is feeling wanted by your partner.Rachel Sussman, a relationship therapist in New York, told the Cut that she often sees couples that have at least one partner with perfectionist standards.Those men and women grumble that their partner gained five pounds, that they don’t dress up enough, or that they aren’t sexy anymore.Meredith is one of the many men and women whose perfectionism negatively affects their sex lives.According to sex therapist Ian Kerner, It’s quite common for people to feel pressured to have a certain frequency of sex, to be open and available, to enjoy a variety of positions and techniques, and to ensure that their partner always reaches completion.“We have uncomfortable conversations with our partners all the time about things, whether it’s money, housing choices, work-related stress, problems with friends, in-laws, whatnot,” Kerner said.

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