The wide range of identities of women-seeking-women not only makes it hard to sign up for apps that only have three options (straight, lesbian, bisexual) but could also explain why the majority of the queer women I spoke to say they prefer to meet dates through friends."I build everything on trust," my friend Valey, 27, who meets other women through friends IRL, told me.So, of the hundreds of dating apps that exist, why isn't there a better, queer-women-friendly dating app yet?Are lesbians not online dating because there's no good app, or is there no good app because lesbians don't like online dating?
But the gay women I talked to said they need to have some kind of connection to the other person, even if their only intention is to hook-up (which is often is). But now on Tinder everyone seems to be afraid of being too earnest. "We talked to a lot of people, including founders of other dating sites, and gay women we were friends with," Tessler says. When Tessler decided to start online matchmaking service The Dating Ring two years ago, she couldn't get nearly enough gay women to match with the few gay women who had signed up for the service.After all, she says, it's easier to ask all of your friends what that cute girl's situation is when they all know her and probably have for years.While that's obviously the same in straight dating, straight people don't have to figure out just how straight someone is, worry about navigating a relationship with someone who's not out, or potentially have to deal with someone using them as an experiment.So how did online dating miss the lesbian community?