But if you didn’t then this is a good time to try and resolve any issues before they get worse.If one or both of you reacted in an extreme way to confrontation, try and talk about it.When we are together, it just feels right, but we have yet to say “I love you” to each other.
This guy is using you, Jennifer, and what’s hard to take is that he doesn’t even know it. If he doesn’t, he’s exactly who you thought he was.
Is there a good time frame to go by not only for him to acknowledge his feelings, but for me to make a decision about whether I should stick around or not? Dear Jennifer, I usually don’t run letters this long, especially when I’ve written at least seven articles in the past year that cover this specific topic (including What to Do When the Guy You’re Seeing Will Not Commit).
Still, your letter was well-constructed, self aware, and worthy of response…. Really, it’s on par with answering “I’m a perfectionist” to the “what’s your biggest flaw” question in a job interview. So get it straight: this darling man of integrity is just trying to protect you from getting hurt because he’s made some mistakes before. Believe it or not, I’d still try to give him the benefit of the doubt, since I’ve been wrong before.
Your state of mind before the argument is crucial in figuring out how critical your disagreement actually was. For example, if it’s your anniversary and your partner calls you to say they’re going to be late as they got held up at work, your anger might be rooted more in them continually letting you down, rather than just on this particular occasion.
If you aren’t honest with yourself about why you and your partner argue you might find that you never actually manage to resolve your issues.
The first argument you have in a new relationship is always a watershed moment, as it can reveal important character traits in your partner – and yourself – that you never knew existed.