I never knew what “emotionally unavailable” meant until a few years ago.I had heard the term once or twice and I thought it was just some bizarre psychological term that seemed too diagnostic and unrealistic. Fast forward to a year later after a horrible, heart-wrenching, not-ever-going-to-recover-from-this-I-want-to-die breakup.This was invaluable to me because I got to see patterns in what I was attracting and what I was attracted to. Emotionally unavailable guys are unable to tap into their emotions and because of this, they lack empathy. A few months in, he tells me he loves me and calls me his. We are long distance, but daily texts turned into every few days. Remember: The only way that the relationship will ever work is if it’s on his terms and if you accept his behavior, which you can’t because it is impossible to have a mutual, respectful, loving and trusting relationship and be that way. He started to become cold against me, told me he needed time & that i must be patient and that he thinks about me all the time & then he did the silent treatment on me for a month(he text me a few Times during this ST) he also blocked me from whatsapp.. I confronted him at his house, and after that he Said i was immature & that he like me but cant imagien a relationship with me, wich he clearly wanted earlier..I feel like being involved with someone that’s emotionally unavailable is something that needs to be discussed and understood because once you get what it means, you can then identify it after a few dates (or even one date) and save yourself the months, years, tears and the feeling of hopeless insanity that’s inevitable when you decide to have a go with a guy that’s of the emotionally unavailable species. He could be curing cancer and rescuing kittens every day, but if he’s emotionally unavailable, It doesn’t matter how many kittens he rescues or what he cures, he will never capable of emotional intimacy or connection with you. They always seem to have a lot of women attracted to them because they’re so ambiguous, Johnny-Depp-mysterious and hard to read. He would throw me a bone, and I would be all happy. When I brought it up, he would scream and make it all about how hard his life is. So, in a sense, you are rejecting him; you’re deciding to put an end to it instead of giving up in deflated defeat. He is in a relationship with someone for now 6 years.. He told me she is mentally ill and the Only reason he is staying is because he feels sorry for her, and that he sees her as a best friend 3. Before he would tell me to not doubt his Word and that once he made up his mind, nothing could change that.. He smokes a lot(sometimes marijuana) drinks and drives, and have a hobby that take up most of his time. It has now been 2 1/2 month since he rejected me, we have seen eachother to talk about what happend…he blames the fact that im to Young for him (not a issue before) that he dont know where he wants to live (he is lying because he bought a new house) he also give me mixed messeges, he Said he want me but he cant, he told me “my heart says yes but my mind says no” He says im so important to him and that he thinks about me a lot..Here are just SOME of the signs that you’re with an emotionally unavailable dude….. You find that YOU feel out of control; like you’re on a never ending emotional rollercoaster without a seat belt. I too have dated my share of emotionally unavailable men and after reading this post, i’m certain that I am dating one now 🙁 Oh well. He stonewalled me in fights, which led me to frustration and anger I never experienced before in my life. It was always twisted and turned that I constantly questioned my sanity and what I said and didn’t say. I read through your comment a few times and I think that you already know the truth and that you answered a lot of your own questions.You’re on cloud nine singing “Happy” with Pharrell one minute because he’s being attentive, caring and “back to his old self,” and the next minute you’re a mess because he cancelled last minute/flaked again/abruptly “had to go”/mentioned that maybe you guys should take a break/is shut off/says he needs time/makes YOU feel like you’re coming on too strong and demanding too much, etc. You may not see them but your gut knows that they are there and if you don’t see them, it’s because you’re choosing not to. I never understood what being emotionally unavailable meant. Do you think emotionally unavailable guys ever change and become available? You are very smart, very aware, very beautiful and very perceptive.and then spend 400 dollars of our money on a strip club and a dating app. I’m so glad I found this, I thought I was crazy, that it was me.
this is all what emotionally unavailable people do. The best way to move forward is to understand that the only way that the relationship would ever work would be if you accepted his behavior and if it was on his terms (which, is hurtful), so by saying no to that, you are in a way, rejecting him by having your own back. only to dump me at my parents house less than two weeks into the vacation, with part of the shit i brought in bags, after telling me he wanted to separate to divorce, be alone…
After a long pause, the radio love doctor that was listening to the woman said: “it sounds like he’s emotionally unavailable.” I drove home and didn’t need to do much research until I understood what emotional unavailability meant. It’s about being exclusive, monogamous, caring, loving respectful partnership in which he’s consistent. This one got my attention because too much condicende it’s my actual situation with a guy he left me because of his parents he doesn’t have a mind of his own he’s 25 but acts like an 18 year old still does what his parents want we started talking again and he just told me to stop talking to him completely because I made him feel bad about something so he block me on facebook and his phone.
I immediately connected what I was learning and began to recognize family members, friends and the majority of guys that I had been with as emotionally unavailable. They’re the guys that you’re always talking to your girlfriends about, trying to analyze and decipher. Long story short, just every sngle thing you said here it’s the same thing with him. I know I should save myself all the drama and problems but it’s hard when you like him. Came on strong, was attentive, seemed to care about my life, made time to see me, etc. Thanks for reading 🙂 What you described sounds very familiar. Don’t give up, make the conscious decision to be DONE.
This is one of the rare unfiltered (yes, it was THAT beautiful #nofilter at all) photos taken of me in the middle of nowhere by the Nevada-Utah border when I was working on a project last December.
I decided to use this picture because besides it being a fun memory, it’s also the Webster’s pictorial definition of exactly what it feels like to date an emotionally unavailable man.
Instead, we have to turn some douchebag into our do-gooder project and save them out of being who they are totally okay with being (themselves). He breaks it, he always push it forward..”next week, no next month” Hi Beautiful! This is my first comment because I just found this site with all the research I’ve been doing the past few days. Of course because I’m searching for answers as to why my heart feels like a bomb was detonated in it. Somehow, we persisted through his mess and ended up in a relationship for 2.5 years and moved across the country together.