If you chose to proceed in dating him, I caution you to proceed slowly and with eyes wide open. Comments like, “Bah, I just want it over,” or “Doesn’t matter, we’ve been strangers for years,” may seem casual, even confident — but they also mask what’s going on underneath and behind the scenes.
When a man has truly processed his divorce and moved on, he should be able to speak to it with compassion, kindness, and wisdom.
The thing about anger is that it uses up a lot of energy and space in your separated man’s brain and heart.
That’s energy and space that he can’t and won’t channel into you in positive ways. He doesn’t consistently spend time with his children.
Whatever the case may be, these kinds of circumstances are extremely stressful for him, which will inevitably ripple into your relationship together in some way(s).
Another reason he doesn’t regularly see his kids could be because right now, he despises his ex, himself and the divorce situation, more than he loves his kids.
If you find that you just can’t wait until your divorce is final to start dating again, this article provides a few “do’s and don’ts” of dating before you are divorced.
Unfortunately, there is more that you shouldn’t do than should, but first let’s clarify what is meant by “dating.” Legally, “dating” means one-on-one social contact with another person.
So, many clients decide that just one date can’t hurt.The real reason his divorce hasn’t been finalized could be because of unfinished legal business. Often, his anger will be directed towards his wife – not necessarily through long rants but through small jabs, backhanded remarks and seething sarcasm disguised as humour.I remember one separated man I dated would seethe as he referred to his wife as the “Succubus” — she’s a demon that takes on a human form to sexually seduce men.When he minimizes or avoids the topic, however, it suggests that either he has not yet worked through all the stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance); or, he hasn’t yet hashed through the legalities (or possibly even begun). He can’t just flick it off his shoulder as he would a bug. Anger is a normal and healthy phase for your separated man to go through.This is a man who once loved his wife, believed in marriage and the family dream, and committed himself to making it work. But that doesn’t mean it’s your job to deal with it, especially when he might be stuck in this state indefinitely.Child support payments are based on the cold hard numbers reported by both spouses in their tax returns. Like it or not, he has financial responsibilities in taking care of his kids, period.